


Sweets and New Targets

by Spiritmoon23



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Hitman AU, Other, but be warned, but its old as fuck so like, ill try to fix it as i go, thats right fools its hitman jones
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 12:22:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13123635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spiritmoon23/pseuds/Spiritmoon23
Summary: The many adventures of one Mr. Alfred F Jones, Assassin for hire





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> again, im really trying my hardest to fix this up before i post it. but believe me when i tell you its really, r e a l l y h a r d to do with the original manuscript that i left myself.  
> please just, like, bear with me for a few chapters until i can get things going again.

"Oh, what a shame. You never scream when I catch you. You're no fun!" he said, exasperated, to the assassin tied up in the chair. Kirkland was his name, and he was always trying to kill Jones, one way or another. But he didn't mind! It was always fun to play with his friends. Well, Kirkland wasn't exactly a _friend,_ so much as he was his mentor. Him, and then they got into a fight and Alfred may or may not have tried to kill him right then and there, then Gil helped him out when he realized he'd bitten off more than he could chew.

"I know you aren't going to do anything to me, Jones. You look up to me too much." He watched him with a blank, unamused look in his emerald eyes. There wasn't enough time for this in their line of work, but Alfred, of course, made time anyways.

"And I know you won't do anything to me because you think I could be a good little assassin, right?" Kirkland smiled and said nothing. He was in no position to do anything, being tied to a metal chair and all. "I won't kill you, but I could still hurt you, you know. I bet your blood would be extra pretty! If fact, I _know_ it is."

Jones pointed his knife at the other. It was his favorite one, with a light blue handle and a shiny silver blade. Swaying his hips, he walked up to the assassin and put the knife up to his face. He let the tip of the sharpened blade drag down the other's face, leaving a red line on his skin. He stopped to admire how the steel shined in the light.

"Oh how I would love to cut you right up, but your face wouldn't be nearly as pretty as it is now, dearie." He took the knife back, all the while staring into those bright emerald eyes. Jones turned and started towards the door, pausing in the doorway for just a moment, and looked back.

"Aren't you going to cut the ropes, you daft arse?" Kirkland called after him.

"I don't think I will. It's just so much more entertaining to watch you do it yourself. Of course, I know you can, seeing as you taught me how to. So I'll see you later! And remember, I'll be watching!" And with that, he left, the clicks of his polished dress shoes echoing down the corridor with him.


	2. Chapter 2

"So, Ivan. I heard you have a job for me! Or did you just want an excuse to see me again?" Jones teased, watching him over the rim of his glasses suggestively. The Russian glared in response, planting both hands on the table roughly and leaning over it, getting as close as he dared.

"No, Jones. This is business only. We are professionals, so please act like it." He paused, reeling himself back in before he could even begin to lose his control. "I have orders to, well, _remove_ them from this plane of existence. But before I tell you the details of the job, I need your consent. Will you take it or not?" The Russian's accent was thick and heavy on his otherwise perfect English.

"I don't see why you need me to do the killing. You are perfectly capable. You're like KGB or something, aren't you? Even thought they're not _technically_ a thing anymore but everyone knows that you still are and also, I mean, it's all the way in eastern Europe! That plane ticket costs a lot of money! Not to mention the fact that customs nowadays are strict and super impossible to get my supplies through. And what about Tony? I can't just leave him all alone here!"

"... Who is Tony?"

"OH YEA! You haven't met Tony! He just crashes with me, helps me clean up blood and stuff. Keeps me out of trouble. And totally runs drugs and organs through the black market or whatever." He waved his hand, dismissing the subject. "But he could probably handle himself for a little while. It's not like he's out in the public ever, since he's almost always stoned out of his gourd in our apartment. But tell me something, Braginsky. How much will this job pay?"

The spy looked down at the table thoughtfully. "I am getting a lot of money to complete this task. I could give you somewhere around ten to fifteen million US dollars-" Jones gasped dramatically "- if the job is done within fifteen days of your departure from the States, which would be one week from now, should you choose to take the job."

"It's not every day someone like me comes up on a job like that. I'll do it! It sounds like I might actually have myself a challenge, though, if you won't just do it yourself. Who is this dude that I'm supposed to be killing, anyway?"

"This 'dude' is a woman. She is Yekaterina Braginskaya-"

"Hey that sounds a lot like your name!"

"-but she only goes by the name of Katyusha. She spends most of her time in Starkhanov, Ukraine. She travels around, of course, to parts of Russia, Belarus, Poland, Romania, Moldova, and Slovakia, though she has yet to be seen in Hungary, and we don't know why. She has a huge following, and she will be hard to track down, and even harder to get close to." He paused, pulling out a black folder, opening it, then taking out a few labeled documents.

"Ooh, it looks all official! Like we're in a movie or something!" Jones said excitedly. Braginsky rolled his eyes and slid the papers, along with the folder, over the table.

"That folder should hold any information you might need on this mission. If you have any questions, you know how to contact me." With that, Mr. Braginsky left the small room, leaving the folder and all of it's enclosed information with the blond now sitting on the table.

"'Kay later Ivan." The hitman dismissed under his breath-more of an afterthought, really. He looked down at the documents on the table, popping a piece of red gum in his mouth, and threw the wrapper somewhere on the floor behind him,

This was going to be fun.


	3. Chapter 3

_"The name's Alfred,"_ he introduced himself, holding his hand out to the other person in the room. It was a woman, very attractive and very deadly. This was Jones's newest target, Katyusha, the Ukrainian resistance leader. He had done some of his own research on her using the American databases that he had access to, of course, so he knew exactly where she would be for the entirety of the next month. In all honesty, it wasn't as hard to find her as Braginsky had made it seem. But then again, he knew how to find people better than almost anyone else did. And he had more resources, which always helped. _"It's very nice to finally meet you! I've heard so much about you."_

 _"I'm nothing that great, really. I did organize all of these people for this cause, though! I awakened the spirit within them, and they did all of the rest themselves. Nothing here is done without the will of the many,"_ she responded, glancing down at her hands before looking back up at him. _"Alfred, you said? I am pleased to make your acquaintance."_

_"Gosh, I just can't believe that I actually get the chance to meet you in person! My brother said that you'd be too busy and were too important to see just anyone..."_ he rambled on for a little bit, letting his natural tendency to prattle on and on take over, just to keep her talking and begin familiarizing herself with this act that he presented. He knew how to manipulate people; he has his doctor in psychology, after all. Oh, Jones may be a hit man, but you don't stay a hit man as long as he has without being smart. And this man was very, _very_ smart. 

_"I'm very flattered, Mr. Alfred! But truly, I'm just like the rest of you. Don't mistake me for something more important than you all; that's what got us into this mess in the first place."_

Alfred chuckled, as was appropriate for the short lull in the conversation. _"So, maybe I should get to the point of the meeting, seeing as I called you here for it. Is there any way that I could be of assistance to you, other than just fighting like everyone else? I have lots of resources and contacts, not to mention good street smarts."_ Katyusha looked at him, sizing him up. He had to kill her, that was his assignment. But they didn't say how soon, as long as it met the constraints, or that he couldn't try to get something out of her while doing it. 

_"You say you have many contacts? That's always very useful in my line of work. How about you gather information for me? Tell me if you ever catch wind of the Russians on my tail or whatnot. You seem pretty well-spoken, anyhow. Think you could do that?"_

_"Yeah, I can definitely do that for you. Of course, I would ask a small price for such a thing. It may be easy, but it would still risk my life. That, and travel nowadays is kind of expensive."_ His voice was mostly even, maybe even a little bouncy to give off an inviting air, and he watched her reaction. He knew that he may have just blown his chances for this plan completely by asking for payment, but he also knew that to get anything done, he would have to take these kinds of risks. Well, maybe not specifically _this_ kind of risk, but it's the principle of the matter.

After contemplating for a moment, she said, _"I can do that, so long as you keep up your end of the bargain. Just make sure that the information you give me is worth it, otherwise I won't be able to continue following through with this exchange. Do we have a deal?"_

Jones offered his hand, smiling. _"But of course!"_


End file.
